When we feel unheard, our natural response is to increase the volume. But volume creates the opposite of what we want, it makes people shut down, not tune in.

In simpler words:

“The louder we shout, the less we are heard.”

Have you ever noticed how we amplify our voice precisely when people are least likely to listen.

In sales: The pushy salesperson who talks faster and louder when sensing resistance loses the deal. The quiet confidence of “I understand this might not be right for you, but in addition to that, what else is on your mind?” creates deeper dialogue.

In leadership: The manager who raises their voice to make a point loses credibility. The leader who speaks softly but carries clear conviction draws people in.

At home: The spouse or parent who escalates during conflict gets met with walls, not understanding. The one who lowers their voice first often breaks through.

Shouting backfires because:

• It triggers fight-or-flight responses
• It signals desperation, not authority
• It makes the message about your emotion, not your point
• It gives people permission to tune out

Good communicators know to:

• Lower your voice when you want to be heard most
• Pause before your most important points
• Use fewer words, not more
• Let conviction carry the weight, not volume

Whispers often carry more power than shouts. People lean in to hear something important. They lean away from noise.

The next time you feel the urge to raise your voice, lower it instead. Watch how it changes the energy in the room.