Though our hearts crave the purity of honesty, we often wound the very souls who dare to gift it to us.

We say we want the truth. We plead for authenticity. But when someone courageously offers their honest perspective, we punish them for it.

In sales: You ask prospects to be direct about their concerns, then argue with every objection they raise. They learn to give you polite deflections instead.

In leadership: You ask for honest feedback in meetings, then get defensive when someone points out a flaw in your strategy. Next time, they stay silent.

In relationships: You tell your partner “I want you to be honest with me,” then react with hurt or anger when they share something difficult. They stop sharing openly with you.

Why we wound honest people:

• Their truth triggers our insecurities
• We mistake honesty for attack
• We respond to our feelings, not their courage
• We forget that honesty is vulnerability, not aggression

When we punish honesty, people stop offering it. They learn to tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to know.

How to honor the gift:

• Thank them first, before defending or explaining
• Ask questions to understand deeper: “Tell me more about that”
• Separate their honesty from your emotional reaction
• Remember: they risked something to help you see clearly

Honest people aren’t trying to hurt you. They’re trying to help you. But they’ll only keep trying if you prove you can handle their gift.