Have you ever noticed how anticipation can steal presence in your conversations? You spend so much time preparing in your head what to say next that you miss what is actually being said now.

We have an intrinsic instinct to anticipate. But when we constantly are focused on preparing our next response, our attention is hijacked from the present moment.

In other words, we want to be ready with a thoughtful response, but we stop listening to what’s actually being said.”

In Sales: A prospect reveals a pain point, but the salesperson is already crafting the perfect pitch. We miss subtle cues like hesitation, tone, and unspoken concern that would have guided a better close.

In Leadership: During a team meeting, a leader mentally rehearses their closing statement while an employee shares feedback. The leader may look engaged, but the employee senses the lack of true presence, eroding trust.

In Relationships: A friend is venting, and instead of fully listening, you’re busy preparing advice. The result? They feel managed instead of heard.

The Warning Signs

• You interrupt because you’ve been waiting to deliver your point.
• You replay your response in your head instead of catching details.
• You leave conversations realizing you missed key emotions or facts.
• Others seem less open with you over time.

The Alternative

• Breathe and trust that words will come when it’s your turn.
• Stay curious: listen for meaning, not just for pauses to jump in.
• Reflect back what you heard before adding your perspective.
• Treat silence as space, not as pressure to perform.

Conversations transform from strategic exchanges into genuine connections when we listen to hear instead of to respond.

In your next conversation, notice when your mind drifts toward what you’ll say.

Gently pull it back by asking yourself: “What is the heart of what they’re really saying right now?”